April 7, 2010

Near delirious writing from a three hour layover in Cincinnati, Ohio at 4:00am.

I have had more doors held open for me and seen more courtesy and kindness in the last twelve hours here in the US than I did in the two weeks I spent traveling back from Banff. Now the interesting thing I've noticed is that of the six standout acts of kindness, 5 of them were done by African Americans. Solution? Mandatory social etiquette classes to be attended by asshole honky bitches. Teachers? Any of the 4 'thugs' I saw be better humans than I've been from time to time. This guy woke up a complete stranger to make sure that the bus about to leave wasn't the one he wanted to be on. It was.


A wonderful Greyhound conversation.


Bus Driver: Hey Trevor, you busy?

Trevor: What can I do for you?

Bus Driver: This lady says the uh... bathroom door is locked.

Trevor: You want me to unlock it for you?

Driver: Yeah. Please. God damn rickety buses.

Trevor makes his way to the back while the driver starts getting the microphone ready for the pre drive announcements.

Trevor: It's unlocked.

Driver: Oh. Thank you.

He tries to make his annoucemnet

Driver: Oh damn, this microphone is broken. Damn rickety bus.

Trevor: I think there's one on the desk inside.

Driver: Yeah that one's broken I think.

Trevor: Want me to find you another one?

Driver: Yeah sure. Please. Maybe go take one from one of those rickety buses over there.

Trevor makes his way off the bus.

Driver: I'd be complaining about these rickety buses if I were you man.

I've been giggling this whole conversation and the driver seems to have taken notice.

Driver: It's not funny man. They not going to do nothing if no one complains

Sean: You should see the buses in Canada. The buses here are nice.

Driver: No way, they're sending all those new buses up to Canada. They don't want to let us on them, they think we'll tear them apart.

Sean: No they aren't. That one right there (I point to the new bus we came in on) is the first one I've seen and I bus around a lot in Canada.

Trevor gets back on the bus and hands the driver a new microphone.

Driver: Hey Trevor, that true?

Trevor: Is what true?

Driver: This kid says the buses up in Canada are all rickety buses.

Trevor: Hell, I don't know.

Driver: Alright then, well all I'm saying is we got some rickety buses down here man. Ok everybody can I have your attention for a moment. Uh, I run a quiet ship here. I don't drive with a lot of noise. So put your cell phones on vibrate. Please. You can talk, I don't mind you talking, but talk low. People are trying to relax sleep (he actually said relax sleep) If you're going to listen to music, keep it low so you can enjoy it, but I don't want to. (There are murmers in the back) Is there a problem young man? Naw, if you got a problem then say something. (silence) Alright then. Thank you for going Greyhound.